SHASHA

Stuck in between

2009-10-28T20:58:00.001+08:00

I don't know what i want, that's the truth.

I need guidance, seriously.

I love you, from the bottom of my heart.

What's bothering you people so much?

2009-10-27T13:35:00.004+08:00

I really don't get it. It's my life, so what's your concern? Bullshit.

Amirul Aliff , sorry i can't attend your court trial. But hey, i'll be praying hard for you alright? I'm sure you'll be fine, you'll make it back home for sure. Best of luck aye!

It's so hard to contact Paks since we both lost our phone at the same event like grrrrrrr. He's been calling home, but my house phone is too pathetic. I can't hear a thing he said and so can he. We screamed through the loudspeaker throughout the whole conversation like insane people. I need a break, these past few days has been real tough for me. I've been very moody, swearing people here and there. Sometimes i feel like i'm being so unreasonable. SUPER UNREASONABLE .

Why must i have a CORRUPTED family?

2009-10-25T22:16:00.004+08:00

I've been working for the past two days. I had so much fun working with ayu, lala, baby, fahmy , kanina and paks. They were the ones who helped me forget about all my problems. They were the ones who understood me.

I wonder why my mum thinks that i'm a rotten apple? Because i highligted my hair? Because i'll only be home late night? Because my boyfriend has a tattoo? I really don't get it. I've always wanted to ask her this, WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I GOT HOME AT 1AM IN THE MORNING ON WEDNESDAY ? Not home too? Where are you every saturday night? Overnight with your boyfriend? Do you even care about me and the others? To me, you're selfish! You only think about getting married to him and living your life as a single mum whereas you're not even home 80% of the time to take care of us. You don't have to cry as if you care.

I'm not trying to be rude, but you're the reason why i left home. You talk to me as if i'm not your daughter. Even papa don't treat me that way. You talk to me as if you really despise me and that i don't deserve your kindness. No matter what i do, it is always wrong in your eyes. Nothing i do is ever pleasant to you.

If you're gonna tell me my friends/boyfriend influenced me into becoming this brat right infront of you, then i'm sorry but i might have to rebel. My friends, they were the one who told me to listen to your words and ignore the thought that "MY MUM HATES ME" because they said you care but ; you don't . They were the ones who stood by me when i needed someone to talk to. Unlike you, all you do is come home and order us around. Tell us to do this and that. You'll tell us to study but have you ever sat with us and coach us? Never. So don't you think you're to be blamed? All you do at home is call your boyfriend, text your boyfriend, act like you're a single lady with no children. Stay in your room all day long. Have you ever asked me, how was my day at school? Or are you facing any problems? Have you? Never. Because you don't care.

I am still Nurul Syafiqah . I am still your daughter, that is if you still think i am. But truth is, i can't stay with you any longer. I am sick and tired of everything. I hate thinking that no one in the house cares about me. I hate being left out. I'm gonna stay with papa no matter what. If you think i'm being childish or whatsoever then so be it, we'll let the court decide and we'll see what's the outcome.

You're a big part of me baby

2009-10-22T21:36:00.003+08:00

I love you baby, i love you so much.

Thanks for being there for me when i needed you, praying hard for you.

I love you

2009-10-22T21:23:00.004+08:00

Last night was great, Haha. We celebrated fahmy's birthday. I had so much fun, i was teased because of the blur look on my face. Haha, let's party on the 1st baby.

I'll be going to school tomorrow, *sighs*. I'll be working on sat and sun, *another longer sigh*. When will it all end?? Penat doh!

I can't be bothered

2009-10-20T07:59:00.002+08:00

I met Paks yesterday, he fetched me from home. We went out for lunch , DAMN WAS I HUNGRY LIKE A GHOST! Afterwards, we hang out with Dum-dum, Alam and the others. Crazy bunch.

I didn't attend school today, i'm just too lazy to get up but i'll be going to school for the rest of the week. Maybe i'll get my hair highlighted today, MAYBE. I don't want to go to school but i have to since it is streaming la, whatever shit that i can't be bothered about. My form teacher is sooooooo irritating, she kept on texting my mum asking her why i'm not in school.

I'm too stressed up to remain in the express stream. Somebody, help me.

He means too much

2009-10-19T12:59:00.002+08:00

I'm very sorry. I'll be there for your court date, i'm holding on to that.

I've got a lot to explain, your mistake

2009-10-19T08:41:00.003+08:00

I had a great time in jb, unfortunately on the day i got there Aini went home. So i didn't have the chance to go over to her place in jb. I was thrown into the pool yesterday, cramp all over my body. I need a massage!

I had a wonderful saturday with my baby. Gosh, we + Yaya were like little kids. Roaming around in arcades, eating apple pies, pinching and punching each other? Haha, it was really fun. He's the best, & leaving him is the last thing i could ever think of.

About the explanation, i'll explain when i have the time to do so. I hate it when people start to twist facts and turn their backs on what they used to believe in. Blaming others for what they did, isn't that ridiculous? Sucha a liar, you suck up a lot from what i can see.

I've just finished cleaning up the BIG MESS i made in my room, i feel like a maid.

I'll be there for you baby, hang on

2009-10-16T10:18:00.003+08:00

Exams are finally over, stressed over the upcoming results.

I'll be going back to jb tonight, i'll be attending ainiciner's open house on saturday.

I've been spending most of my time during the past few days with precious, paks and tasha.

& to you baby,

Hang on there, it's not the end. You can always make a change in life. So be a goodboy from today onwards if not i'll bite you hard enough to make you cry. I love you

I finally knew who told paks about everything, i was shocked. Maybe it is true, the closest to you are your worst enemies. I thought close friends keep each others secret, but my secret was leaked out. But still, there's nothing i can do about it. Everything is over. Grrr

I know you do , but i'm not sure it's true

2009-10-11T08:14:00.004+08:00

Paks called me early in the morning , 0550 hours .

He told me to accompany him on his way home over the phone , i was half awake .

Darn you , ass . We talked about a lot of things , A LOT . Hmm , i really miss him .

He's working today so all i can do is wait for his phone call at night .

I really miss those mushy night text . Those sweet late night calls we used to have every night , gaga-ing non-stop . Will it ever happen again ?

Guide me through .

It hard to believe but it's true

2009-10-10T19:01:00.011+08:00

I slept freaking early yesterday and i woke up like freaking late , i swear it was a TIRING day okay . Haha

It turned out preety well , i'm glad we talked things out .

The moment i saw Paks, i felt like i was dreaming.

Haha , i missed him and i'm sure he missed me too .

Hang out with precious and kecyk as well . Hey they were gaga-ing all over too , Haha .

Precious called me this morning-afternoon and she said she's at JE library studying . So i got up and chatted with her . I then got myself ready and i went out to meet her . Sorry i was late .

We had lunch together , sweet kan ? Haha but we went home straight after that .

I am feeling sooooooooooo lethargic .

Haha , the overated one

2009-10-08T22:43:00.003+08:00

I want to know , what the fuck is your problem ?

I look like a LAME ALIEN ? What a phrase to use , you sound like a primary school kid .

Well anyway , you have to look at yourself in the mirror . You're the alien sia , i swear you are one BIG FAT ALIEN .
And please correct your english okay , it's embarassing .

You're as pathetic as a 7 year old girl who cries over a lollipop ,

sumpah perangai kau sengket . Super mentel , not the best phrase to describe someone like you .

You need a word-by-word description . Fat-Amateur-Lowlife-Unhygienic-Bitchy-whatever negative thoughts that i can come up with are all meant for you , seriously . WHORE SUITS YOU BEST , YAY !

& for everyone to know , ketiak kau berus dulu okay ? Sungguh tak censored , Haha

I soooooooo love that phrase , gosh .

I'm glad that you're with me

2009-10-07T19:11:00.004+08:00

I had fun today even though i almost cried when i saw you .

I have to be strong no matter what . Yes the fact that i did a big mistake , i'm sorry for that .

You've been faithful and loving , sweetest guy that i have ever met .

But then , lady luck isn't on our side , there's nothing we can do .

I still love you no matter what , please study hard and when you pass your n's , i'm sure your parents will be very proud of you , not only them , i'll be very proud of you too .

Alah it's a waste of time sia , forget it .

Haha I fake you , gotcha

2009-10-06T20:50:00.002+08:00

Sumpah aku penat gila . I walked from lot 1 to feefly's block together with fee .

Boleh semput sia , seriously .

Anyway , today the sun shine brighter than yesterday lah . You should know what i mean .

At least he did kiss and hug me as usual tapy part salam , biken aku sod je .

You showed some concern towards me and i'm glad that you did .

& I miss you baby , i really do .

Ayusai , sumpah perangai tak perlu . You looked at us first and then you screamed at us like some retard . What the hell was that for ?

I did a very big mistake

2009-10-05T21:28:00.002+08:00

Baby , i'm very sorry . I know what i did was a big mistake .

But bie , everything was unintentional , i swear .

I regret everything i did that very night .

How else can i convince you that i'm very sorry and that i have never expected it to turn out this way ?

I love you baby .

You can't take me away from him

2009-10-04T18:11:00.005+08:00

You can tell me anything and everything about him , i've heard enough .

It's love , you can't force me to hate him .

Don't you think you're wasting your time trying to persuade me to leave him ?

Let me tell you this , i'll never leave him so please save your breath .

I love him , no one can change that .

I want to watch G-FORCE !

2009-10-03T23:18:00.006+08:00

My tayang tayang will be working again tomorrow , so it'll be another boring day for me .

Last night , i stayed up just to webcam with him . As usual , i have to entertain all his nonsense .

Aku tahan mata setengah mampos for you ya know ~

As for today I spent 2 hours revising . Shocking kan ? I know , i was shocked too .

Haha alah , he told me not to go out so i had no choice and anyway I had nothing better to do .

But it's okay because on monday , he'll be treating me to G-FORCE ! YAYY !

I love you but it's pointless

2009-10-02T15:31:00.005+08:00

I got this pic from astina's multiply .

That guy in the picture , he's my love , my hero , my sweetheart , my boyf .

There's something that i want you guys to know about him .
He's sweet , the kind of guy who will melt you .
He'll crawl into your dreams every night , trust me .
But still , there is something wrong between the both of us that we both don't know about .

He told me a gazillion times that he loves me , & i've no doubt over that .
But when i asked myself , do i love him ?
I do ; comes out from mouth , but lightly from my heart .

So what does that mean ?

To be honest , i feel hurt most of the time .

Especially right now .

Our 4th month is a week ahead , are we gonna make it ?

The chances i'm taking

2009-09-30T19:28:00.003+08:00

Being there for you doesn't mean i'll be there forever .

You know that i'll have to go someday , happiness won't last forever sayang .

I'm sorry

Ahky Scooby Doo Chocolate Boy Siao !

2009-09-29T20:40:00.003+08:00

School was great , i slept in almost every lesson except pse and rme . Haha

After school , me and Paks headed to Teck whye .

It was Ahky's Birthday . So there was a small celebration .

Gosh , you guys have got to try his mum Nasi Beryani , SEDAP (:

Now i'm dead beat tired so i need a rest , a super long rest !

Maybe you're the right one for me

2009-09-28T22:45:00.002+08:00

This is my current desktop background . Nice isn't it ?

Drawn for me by someone special , suka suka suka ! Haha , okay enough .

I need to turn in soon , i don't want to miss school again . Gonna be another boring day at school tomorrow .

Tak tengok muka Paks , muka Rachael , muka Paks , muka Rachael . zzzzzz

Rais hidong mantain eh !

2009-09-28T17:25:00.006+08:00

Don't worry about that guy in the picture , he's straight .

Haha infact , he's attached to my precious .

Trust me , their a sweet couple . Last long you guys !

Today was e-learning day . As usual , i woke up early in the morning to find that my comp can't launch any of the lesson like --- .

So i went to the cc nearby to finish up my lesson . I'm still not done yet .

After i supposingly completed my lesson , i met Paks .

We went to Imm for lunch and i treated myself to a sumptious meal at Secret Recipe .

I had a brownie + cheesecake + lasagna . Yummy !

The Deadly Tsunami

2009-09-27T11:25:00.009+08:00

I stayed up all night just to watch that movie . It's a MUST-WATCH .

The ending is sooooooooo touching ~Don't forget to grab your bf along (:

I'm at papa's place . Kita nak jalan raya later on .

Alah we meet up once a year only mah , haiyo .

It's gonna be damn tiring plus i hate my damn heels .

It's killing me !

I miss Paks .

Padahal semalam baru gado , Haha . Macam nak s---- jer , grrrr .

tipu tipu tak bagos , kene langgar lori baru tau . Haha

Huss and fuss over something small ?

2009-09-26T12:12:00.006+08:00

(1ST day of Hari Raya) Nelly-Mummy-Ryan

I've got a lot to say , hmm . I don't know where to start . I have been busy with school and bie lately . I've got lots to catch up for studies , mainly Maths .

Gosh , i was on the verge of giving up . I'm left with 6 days till my exams .

How am i supposed to squeeze everything in ???

Raya has been a bore . Not much of a celebration for me .

Till today , no one came over to my house for a house visit other than my sister's classmates .

Haha , but it's a good thing though .

The dance crew will be participating in Dance Explosion . Hmm we've got less than a month to train . With so many things to sort out . I really hope we can make it , at least experience something out of it .

Happy 14th Birthday FEEL-ZAH !

Haha , dah 14 shey dia (; All the best for EOY kay nyonya ?

ShashaDangdut :

I can't do anything about what you said. Well supposingly it's between you and my SHITTO bf.

I've got no right to interfere. So kau pandai-pandai lah mentak dia harta kau tu eh?

I am not involved and i don't want to be involved . Oh and like i said before ,

I didn't ask and neither do i want to know what you think of us .

So terima kasih je lah for telling me . I take it as a compliment .

Thanks for your time (: